i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think I just sharted jello shots
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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