i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
