All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
