I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
