problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
