we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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