Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
