Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think people are normalizing furries
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
