K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
