Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize