what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
