Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
