she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
