hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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