Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
