I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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