Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
