It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
