dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
