The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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