i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
