he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
