Tell her she can't have a vagina
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
