if you like me you must not know who I am
Quick, to the slutcave!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
