I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
