can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
