I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize