the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
