Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
