It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
