i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize