apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
