miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
