dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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