shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said her name was "party"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
