Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't deserve a penis
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize