At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she smelled like a LAN party
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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