omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
