I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
