He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
