i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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