I can text with my tongue
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
