I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
