Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize