He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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