is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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