I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
