Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
