I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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