We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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