I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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