how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
