The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
