I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
