We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
