An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just blew my weed a kiss
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize