I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
