You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
