her vagine was all disorganized.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize