my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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