then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
