Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize