Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I am mentally ready for anal.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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