I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize