yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
