I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Randomize
