SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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