Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
