if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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