Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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