i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
