Small penises have feelings too.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
