she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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