i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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