She went from zero to smokin in five shots
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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