I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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