im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
