whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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