i just wanna soil my oats bro
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize