what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i now understand why vodka
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
