Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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