I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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