You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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